Thursday, February 26, 2009

For the Empty Z Frog

Parents find out interesting things when they have sons, like:

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a house to a depth of 4 inches.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust balls & run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 4-year old boy wearing Batman underwear & a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 12 x 12 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

6. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

7. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

8. The glass in windows (even double-glazed) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

9. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

10. Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke. Lots of it.

11. A 6-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says can only be done in the movies.

12. Certain LEGO products will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

13. Play dough & microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

14. Super glue is forever.

15. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

16. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

17. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

18. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

19. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

20. You probably do not want to know what that smell is.

21. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

22. The fire department has a 5-minute response time.

23. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

24. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

25. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

26. 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

27. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach & brake fluid.

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I am interested in CNG vehicles because they are good for the environment and aren't powered by dead Marines. I still have a little hope for the world. Read the musings and enjoy.