Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Resueme Mistakes

Are these the reasons I am having trouble finding a better job?

  • Objective: Seeking a party-time position with room for advancement

  • Professional headline: 1 year old marketing executive

  • Achievement: Planned new corporate facility at $3M over budget.

  • Explanation of employment gap: career break in 1999 to renovate my horse

  • References: Referees available upon request

  • Skills: I am a rabid typist

  • Strengths: Impersonal skills

  • Hobbies: Enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians

  • Education: College: August 1880 to May 1984

  • Cover letter: I would like to assure you that I am a hardly working person.

And just how much information on a resume is too much?

  • Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a regular basis

  • Personal Information: Married, eight children, prefer frequent travel

  • Language Skills: Exposure to German for two years-but many words are inappropriate for business

  • Reason for leaving last job: the owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia

  • Achievements: Nominated for prom queen

  • Education: Finished eighth in a class of ten

  • Interests: Gossiping

  • Awards: National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes

  • References: Bill, Tom, Eric - but I don't know their phone numbers

  • Salary: The higher the better

  • Cover letter: Please disregard the attached resume; it's totally outdated

1 comment:

Naila Moon of the Grey Wolf said...

Yep-that could be your problem! LOL

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I am interested in CNG vehicles because they are good for the environment and aren't powered by dead Marines. I still have a little hope for the world. Read the musings and enjoy.